I have a dilemma. Likely, it is a dilemma only in my own mind. Yet, I have decided to write about it to get the message in the bottle out there in the Internet sea to discover if another person on the island of life feels the way I do.
I like to run. Well, I like to jog. Truthfully, the word "like" is probably overstating it. It is more of a grudging acquaintance. Similar to having to collaborate with someone from work with whom you cannot really tolerate but understand on a deep level that without this person, assigned work will never find fruition. That is running to me.
As a side note, there are actually quite a few projects at work with which the above analogy is a reality. I am terrible at project management. Pathetic really. If not for some extremely anal retentive type A people I work with, I would be a total failure. As all lazy managers say, I am an idea guy. Thank goodness for people who make work their life. Here's to you.
I want to be healthy. I want to be active and able to get around the world with my children without feeling winded and sweaty. There may also be just a little bit of macho ism that can't stand the thought that my wife is in better shape than me. Only a little though... I like the way I feel when I work through 3 or 4 miles of jogging and get done. There is a real sense of accomplishment there. Nevertheless, as I sit here writing, the thought of going for a jog does not invoke joyous emotions.
In essence, I have pre-jog loathing and post-jog ecstasy.
Moving along here...
So, the other day someone asked me what I like to do for a hobby. Immediately, I wanted to respond that I am a Runner (notice the capital R) and move right into that conversation. I was hindered from doing this by memories of embarrassment. It is humiliating when I say I am a Runner and the other person gets excited and asks how many miles I have in for the week. Miles in for the week? What? My mind does a little stutter which is quickly followed by my mouth doing the same and all that comes out is, "uh... um... I ran three times this week..." To which the other person responds (slightly less excitedly) "Oh... Well... Uh... how many miles do you normally try and do when you go out?" The truth is, I have successfully run a 25k and regularly run greater than three miles at a time. I have a habit of falling off the running wagon and having to heave my over sized frame back on to it again. Yet, I keep coming back.
It's as if they suddenly realize that they aren't dealing with a Runner, but rather, a runner. Equitable to finding out the person you are talking to drinks coffee and then hearing, with great disappointment, that they mean they drink a cup of Folgers in the morning... That ain't coffee, my friend.
It was a hard realization when I became aware that there was a difference. The scenario above has played out enough times for me that like a child in a Skinner highchair presented with a rabbit, I flinch when Runners start talking.
The other issue I have is my complete lack of Running elegance. I have none. Nada. Zilch. When I come running down the path, mothers move their children away with abject horror on their faces. I am a tall and large man with a rather bestial beard and a shaved head. I sweat like a neanderthal and plod like a swift zombie. Simply try and imagine the horror that the ancient Picts would have felt seeing the Saxons coming ashore in Britain from their longboats. I am fortunate that I am already married because one look at me after two miles and women start making decisions about orientation.
I want to be a Runner but am only a runner right now. Perhaps a better label is jogger. How does one cross the Rubicon from mere runner to self actualized Runner? Is there a hierarchy of needs for running? Secret handshake? Perhaps the difference comes on a deeper level. Maybe there is a subconscious vibe put out by people who don't cherish running but only do it as a means to an end. Maybe it's a micro expression of pain that crosses our chubby faces when we mention our semi-regular attempts at churning out miles on foot.
Alas, I run. I run because, as the meme states, I like to eat.
Eating! Now there is something I can talk about with expert level of knowledge.
Gotta run... Seeya.
3 comments:
You know, I can't, by any means, claim to be a Runner, either. But maybe this isn't exactly like it feels. Also, I think I'd like to argue that we all do this.
Example:
I enjoy reading. I have read some pretty serious books, and prefer to read books that have more to offer than cheap entertainment. I read well, and rather quickly, and I catch most things, I believe. I would call myself a Reader. If I meet someone at work who claims to be a big reader, I get pretty excited about it. I like the idea of having someone to talk to who shares this interest with me, who might have insights that I lack, who may just have a whole different interpretation from my own. This is how we grow. If I then come to find that what this person meant was that they read romance novels and Us Weekly (no undue offence to these), I may quickly recognize that we don't have much to talk about, which may come off as a disappointment. There is no shame to be felt by this person for liking something that falls into the same general category as what I like, but doesn't parallel so well. There's nothing wrong with what they do, but we just don't read in the same circles.
I enjoy soccer. I'm pretty decent at it, but one doesn't have to look far to find someone better. I play recreationally on a non-competitive coed league. It's fun. It's not my life. I am not the right person to talk to about Soccer, only about soccer. If someone asks me, I'll tell them I play recreationally, but nothing too serious. Same with running. I'm no elite runner, but I'll say I like to go for a jog -- nothing too serious.
Now, I lived in GR for a number of years, so I understand that there are people who will ask you about your hobby for the single reason to tell you about how they do it better/faster/longer and thus boost their own ego. I get that. But those people aren't the ones you want to spend any time with, really, anyway.
Who are you running for?
Good points, all.
As for who I am running for; I am running to keep healthy and strong for the wife and babes. And maybe… just a little… because of the coming zombie apocalypse.
Regarding the isolation of GR as an especially egocentric town, I think that is found nearly everywhere. In my current situation, though, it is almost like there is an epidemic of the opposite. People are awed if you do anything more than walk to your car in the morning.
Yikes. I just mean, you're not running for these other people. Let them take it as they may.
Also, yes, people like that are everywhere. They just seemed to be in a higher concentration in GR. Or I just met more of them. Sometimes I think that's the case.
Post a Comment